By in advice, blog, blogger, carousel, friendships, life, love, marriage, meantobelindseyb, meanttobe, relationship, relationships on August 24, 2018
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I am impatient… I want to see the final result immediately. I wish things came easily to me every single time. The truth is though, some things take work. To get the right fit, sometimes you have to figure out what isn’t the right fit first… BUT… I promise you that any time I have ever gotten anywhere in life it has been because I have been authentic. I only invest in experiences, things and people when I see the value in doing it. My heart always leads my actions. If the experience or person doesn’t bring joy into my life, then why bother? Does that mean that I get everything that I want every single time? No… I have had letdowns. We all experience that. That’s part of life. It’s part of growing and it’s a part of appreciating the final results. Some people won’t appreciate it or see what you have to offer and that’s okay. You still have to learn to share your gift with the world. If it is truly your calling, your passion or the right person or “thing”, people WILL see it and appreciate it and it will work out in the long run… even if the only person who sees or appreciates the value in it all is just you. It will be worth it. It will just click. Life is way too short and precious to continue force fitting things (or people) into our lives that literally only take up space (or time).

When I tried to force fit a relationship (which I have tried to do time and time again… romantically and otherwise) – IT HAS NEVER WORKED OUT. Does that mean that those relationships were a waste? No… Sometimes they were just stepping stones or growing experiences. Does it mean that I should have just stuck it out with any of those relationships? No… No. NO! Relationships aren’t meant to be tolerated. They are meant to fill our lives with joy and happiness. It doesn’t mean that every relationship will be easy sailing. It just means that working out the “kinks” will make the relationship stronger and better in the long run… if it is the right relationship. There is a huge difference in loving someone despite a little habit they might have and losing yourself in the process of trying to please the person. Trying to change who you are to the core #1: Doesn’t work if you don’t see the value in doing it for yourself and #2: Is selling yourself WAY too short in the long run. There is a point where you have to say “This isn’t working for either of us. It’s time for us to move on and both find true happiness.” That is an act of love in itself. It doesn’t mean you failed. It just means that you value yourself and that person enough to let them find themselves and their own happiness.

This has been true in relationships, but it has also been true in following my passion…

Yes, you still have to try to put effort into the things you really care about if you want to see the full potential. This is true in relationships AND it is true for what you dedicate yourself to professionally. It has to be emotionally fulfilling in some way or it will fade though. It can’t just be for show. Looks, money, fame, etc. can all be fleeting. You will exhaust yourself in the process if you’re only pursuing it because of those things. You have to find the balance in all of it, but… at the end of the day, if you are happy where you are or where you are headed then you are on the right path. It may come in the form of a nod of approval from a co-worker (although PLEASE do NOT do something just for the sake of pleasing someone else or a pay raise)… but you will start to see things come together if you are putting your heart into something you love. It will be worth it. It will exceed your expectations and it will fill your heart with so much joy that you literally won’t even know what to do with all of it.

When I started writing, I did it out of my OWN emotional necessity, which may sound selfish, but I approached it with the feeling of “I have no idea WHY I need to do this, but I have to put this out there.” Initially, it was hard to put myself out there and to be vulnerable like that, but I HAD to do it. I never expected anyone to tell me how to become a writer and I certainly never expected anyone to WANT to be on my journey to self-discovery. I just started writing straight from the heart and people saw that… and they WANTED to be a part of it all. I can’t even fully put into words how much that means to me. I have realized though in all of this that I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want to be a part of someone else’s journey. I genuinely feel like I was given this gift of wearing my heart on my sleeve and the ability to be emotional, raw and real so that I can help someone else in their journeys in some way. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it feels to know that people have gained ANYTHING from my writing, my videos or my passion for music. All I know is that I have followed my heart and I have put it out there and I am so grateful that people find value in something that means so much to me personally… but even if they don’t, *I* have found value in it. I have learned so much about myself through my journey with Thyroid Cancer and I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the really amazing days without having the really horrible, emotionally exhausting bad days. It’s what you do with those bad days to turn them into something positive or valuable that really matters though and I wouldn’t have been able to do that without the right support system. Never forget who has been a part of your journey.

Ultimately, I feel like every part of growth is about being able to recognize who you are, what you need and want in life and then pursuing it with your whole heart. If you’re being real and pursuing something because the need to do it is coming from a real place in your heart, things will work out. I NEVER imagined that people would want to help me complete items on my 101 Things in 1,001 Days list, but I am grateful that I listened to my heart and put that list out there for the whole world to see. That list is a reflection of who I am and I love that people can see value in that and they want to add even more value to something that was already so important to my heart and soul as a person.

I’ll leave you with this thought (which is something I already mentioned in one of my last entries)… Find yourself. Find your passion. Find what fulfills your heart and pursue it 100% authentically regardless of the outcome. It’s not always easy, but if it is MEANT TO BE a part of your journey and your life, it will always be worth it.

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