I can only describe what happened last night as another meant to be sign that my grandfather decided to send me. I know that what I am about to tell you all is probably going to sound crazy, but it actually gave me a sense of peace.
I apologize in advance for repeating myself to those of you that have been keeping up. As you all know by now, I decided to compete again in the Ms. Wheelchair Tennessee pageant. It was a decision that I originally had gone back and forth on, because I honestly took last year pretty hard… but after a lot of thought and prayer, I decided that I really needed to go for it again because I hadn’t completed my goal. So, over the past couple of months, I have been working really hard to prepare. In the back of my mind though, I have thought “Man, I wish my grandfather was going to be able to be here.” (He passed away a couple of months ago.) Then, at some point last week, I randomly would get really emotional every single time I went into my master bathroom. Nothing really triggered it. It happened multiple times. I would be fine one minute and not the next. I couldn’t explain it, but it kept happening. I had finally mentioned it to my hubby and my mom after it happened about the 3rd or 4th time, but still had laughed it off because I was starting to feel so ridiculous. Then, a couple of days ago, I mentioned to my hubby that I really wanted to keep something on me that reminded me of my grandfather on the night of the pageant. I had decided to go with one of the crisp $2 bills that my grandfather had given me that I’ve kept stashed away (he actually had always given them to me throughout my life and they are special to me, so I never give them away.)
That leads my to last night, I had just gotten out of the shower and was in my master bathroom straightening my hair and singing along to whatever random song came on. In fact, the song before it was a Christmas song. LOL! Suddenly, the same song that I heard that had given me reassurance on whether or not to start this blog a few years ago came on. The strangest part of this entire thing is that this song literally came on as a friend was texting me about the pageant. I had just told the friend that I wished my grandfather could be there, but that in a way, I feel like he will be there because last year he was too sick to come… and this year, he isn’t sick anymore. I have a strange and amazing sense of peace now knowing that he’ll be watching over me.
This happened… I can’t duplicate it. I even had trouble getting back to the song afterward. It was just meant to be.
“Read All About It, Pt. III”
The lyrics below are part of the chorus that had given me reassurance when I was about to start writing my blogs a few years ago. This song came into my life at the perfect time:
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream ’til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I’m not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it
Here is the full song:
What I take from all of this is that everything will be okay. Regardless of the outcome, everything will work out one way or another. I know that I need to continue sharing my story. If it’s meant to be it will be. Also, I’m pretty sure Papa Stan is just messing with me at this point. LOL!